Ahlan Wa Sahlan

Ahlan Wa Sahlan

Thursday, April 24, 2008

A little less dependant

I was raised by my mom on our own.

Her and I.

Me and her.

I relied on her and she relied on herself.

My father was gone and I have no brothers.

I was raised by an independant woman... to be an independant woman.

But now I find that independant is not what I'm supposed to be.

And I struggle to become a dependant me.


ammena said...

i feel you sis.. in same boat here!!

Safiyyah said...

Salaams Sis:

I am "dependant" on my husband financially - that's it. All other areas of my life are within my control. And for real, I could get a job if need be.

I know you feel a little anxious, but relax. It will be OK. You're about to make a big change, it's only nature to feel a bit uneasy.

Every good marriage and every opportunity in life involves a small element of risk.

Women can be dependant without selling their souls.

Love and Salaams/Safiyyah

Amie said...

I know what you mean. I grew up like you, then I was on my own basically after my mom died when I was 15. I left my grandparents' house after high school and have been on my own ever since.
After I got married last September, I realized that my life is no longer about me and me being a control freak. Not that you are, but come on - every independent girl thinks/knows no one can take better care of herself than she can.
It doesn't have to be a humbling experience. It's all about communication. Some couples are yours, mine, and ours and some are whats yours is mine and mine is yours. You just have to find the balance.
Becoming "Dependent" is probably not the diction. It's more like learning to share the stresses, and letting him help.

janene said...

um...I sense you are realizing the extent you will be dependent on your husband once you move to Egypt...especially since it is such a male orientated culture...can't say much other than, I hear ya'

saha said...

dependent on Allah,

only be dependent on Allah, no matter who has the finances.

in terms of having an independent character, me too, my husband's used to it now, lol!

DawnUK said...

Salaam Aleikum.

Why not see it more as a strength of character not so much independent and that strength is one of the reasons he loves you.

InshALLAH your move will be fine,you've waited for this so long some nerves are to be expected.

May ALLAH make this path easy for you,sister.