CLIP FROM THE MOVIE TO EXPLAIN:
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Misery Loves Company
I've had a migraine since yesterday and I can't seem to think my way through it.
Hopefully I can shake it before tomorrow so we don't miss Random Wednesday.
I know how sad you'd be.
If only someone would hit me with a hammer right between the eyes, somehow I think that would make me feel better.
Volounteers?
Hopefully I can shake it before tomorrow so we don't miss Random Wednesday.
I know how sad you'd be.
If only someone would hit me with a hammer right between the eyes, somehow I think that would make me feel better.
Volounteers?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I think we should do Random Wednesdays
I am thinking that every wednesday should be random Wednesday. You know its the worst day of the week, so why not ramble about completely inane and useless things?
It sounds good to me.
* I was reading the bbc this morning and ran across this "Newsworthy story". Big American newstories involve polititians and prostitutes but apparently in Briton talking on your mobile phone while driving is worthy enough for some front page action.
I'm not saying we should downplay the small things, but really? Talking on your mobile phone? And what really had me was the fact that someone got worked up enough over it to whip out their mobile phone to take a picture.
..and then send it into the police.
..and then it gets put on the front page of bbc international.
Personally, I just don't get it- I stick my phone into my hijab and keep going. Instant handsfree.
(pic to be inserted here)
* One day, after a particularly hilarious but odd conversation with my husband, I realized that we're a lot like 'I Love Lucy'.
Except the part of Ricky is played by a handsome Egyptian. Otherwise all else is the same: I'm nutty and annoying and red-headed.
* Speaking of nutty: I don't know if its just me but 99% of the converted muslimahs I've met have been a bit on the quirky side. Like myself. And when I say quirky I mean really cool laid back chicks with great senses of humor and an understanding and appreciation of the odder parts of society.
I mean, I've met stick in the mud muslimahs who act holier than thou and 'haraam' the most harmless things. (I don't like them very much.)
But most of us are a little bit off, in a good way.
* I got asked if it was a 'chador' that I was wearing by a patient this morning. And then I spent a good five engrossed minutes in explaining the intricacies of muslimah outerwear. I told the patient to come by after his appointment and I'd quiz him on vocabulary.
* Organic Muslimah had a post about whether to support a Muslim business that allows their patrons to bring their own alcoholic beverages but does not actually serve/sell it.
Just to one-up that I guess, I walked into the Muslim-owned corner store by my house and was confronted by a glass case filled with one-hitters and bongs.
At the look I gave the brother working behind the counter he burst into laughter and said, "I know sister, I know, I had a deep discussion with the owners about it and once these are gone, khalas no more."
One down, alcohol and pork still to go.
But it sure is nice to be greeted with a Salaam everytime I go in to buy milk.
* I'm planning on moving to Egypt for a little while inshAllah this summer, however the situation with food prices is making both my husband and I sweat. InshAllah everything will work out, but why do economics have to suck worldwide? I mean, not that we're dealing with anything too detrimental to daily life right now in the US, but it seems like everywhere is feeling a crunch.
* Sometimes the cutest old people come into the clinic and they are just joys to chat with. I had one adorable woman from Austria tell me that I reminded her of her sister who was a nun back home in the Old Country (comparison to a nun number 1,243). She went on to say, "The mother superior asked me to join them as well, but you know, I just couldn't handle that headscarf business."
The celebacy would have done it in for me.
* And last but not least I recommend that everyone should check out Artemesia Rants' blog. Her writing style is amazing and her topics are hard-hitting and thought provoking. Check her out, she's a must-read.
Alright, now I want to call on any readers who have random tidbits they'd like to sound off on. Use my comments and make my day!
And let me know what you think about Random Wednesdays.
It sounds good to me.
* I was reading the bbc this morning and ran across this "Newsworthy story". Big American newstories involve polititians and prostitutes but apparently in Briton talking on your mobile phone while driving is worthy enough for some front page action.
I'm not saying we should downplay the small things, but really? Talking on your mobile phone? And what really had me was the fact that someone got worked up enough over it to whip out their mobile phone to take a picture.
..and then send it into the police.
..and then it gets put on the front page of bbc international.
Personally, I just don't get it- I stick my phone into my hijab and keep going. Instant handsfree.
* One day, after a particularly hilarious but odd conversation with my husband, I realized that we're a lot like 'I Love Lucy'.
Except the part of Ricky is played by a handsome Egyptian. Otherwise all else is the same: I'm nutty and annoying and red-headed.
* Speaking of nutty: I don't know if its just me but 99% of the converted muslimahs I've met have been a bit on the quirky side. Like myself. And when I say quirky I mean really cool laid back chicks with great senses of humor and an understanding and appreciation of the odder parts of society.
I mean, I've met stick in the mud muslimahs who act holier than thou and 'haraam' the most harmless things. (I don't like them very much.)
But most of us are a little bit off, in a good way.
* I got asked if it was a 'chador' that I was wearing by a patient this morning. And then I spent a good five engrossed minutes in explaining the intricacies of muslimah outerwear. I told the patient to come by after his appointment and I'd quiz him on vocabulary.
* Organic Muslimah had a post about whether to support a Muslim business that allows their patrons to bring their own alcoholic beverages but does not actually serve/sell it.
Just to one-up that I guess, I walked into the Muslim-owned corner store by my house and was confronted by a glass case filled with one-hitters and bongs.
At the look I gave the brother working behind the counter he burst into laughter and said, "I know sister, I know, I had a deep discussion with the owners about it and once these are gone, khalas no more."
One down, alcohol and pork still to go.
But it sure is nice to be greeted with a Salaam everytime I go in to buy milk.
* I'm planning on moving to Egypt for a little while inshAllah this summer, however the situation with food prices is making both my husband and I sweat. InshAllah everything will work out, but why do economics have to suck worldwide? I mean, not that we're dealing with anything too detrimental to daily life right now in the US, but it seems like everywhere is feeling a crunch.
* Sometimes the cutest old people come into the clinic and they are just joys to chat with. I had one adorable woman from Austria tell me that I reminded her of her sister who was a nun back home in the Old Country (comparison to a nun number 1,243). She went on to say, "The mother superior asked me to join them as well, but you know, I just couldn't handle that headscarf business."
The celebacy would have done it in for me.
* And last but not least I recommend that everyone should check out Artemesia Rants' blog. Her writing style is amazing and her topics are hard-hitting and thought provoking. Check her out, she's a must-read.
Alright, now I want to call on any readers who have random tidbits they'd like to sound off on. Use my comments and make my day!
And let me know what you think about Random Wednesdays.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
The art of women...
I watched The Other Boleyn Girl with my mom tonight and in one scene the mother of Anne says to her "you must learn how to control men by letting them think that they are the ones in control, that is the art of women."
I leaned to my mom and said, "Thats how the Arab women do it."
Among the couple in front of us, the woman turns to look at the man who bursts into laughter, nodding a bit sheepishly.
And a woman behind us comments rather loudly, "Well things don't change much, do they?"
No, things don't change much at all.
I do want to make one comment about the injustices of life: the king sleeps with whatever woman he fancies and no one says anything; the queen is accused of sleeping with another man and she's executed.
Just saying...
At least in Islam they both get stoned.
I leaned to my mom and said, "Thats how the Arab women do it."
Among the couple in front of us, the woman turns to look at the man who bursts into laughter, nodding a bit sheepishly.
And a woman behind us comments rather loudly, "Well things don't change much, do they?"
No, things don't change much at all.
I do want to make one comment about the injustices of life: the king sleeps with whatever woman he fancies and no one says anything; the queen is accused of sleeping with another man and she's executed.
Just saying...
At least in Islam they both get stoned.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Gah..
Today is going to suck at work. I had meant to post at some point during this afternoon but work is really going to suck instead.
And I forgot my lunch at home.
Sad, sad, sad.
*pout*
****** lets make this post more random
I walked into the bathroom after one of our doctors this morning and was almost knocked over by the pervasive stench of raw vodka.
Hm...... He LOOKED sober... maybe it was his aftershave...
******
Why is it so yummy when I dip my french fries into MCD's "ice cream"?
******
Despite laughing uproariously about it in Egypt, and teasing my husband everytime he said it, I have been infected by the dreaded "ya3nee" that peppers all Arabic-speakers' conversations and monologues.
Ya3nee, I just can't get rid of it.
******
I have a coworker who insists on calling me Molly-olly. I just might get physically violent if she does it again. I should probably warn her.
******
Someone mixed a large handful of small paperclips in with my large paperclips. This is cruel and unusual torture and therefore illegal by the Geneva Convention. Just saying... I could press charges.
******
I had a bunch of other random thoughts buzzing around in my head. When I think of them I'll add them on.
And I forgot my lunch at home.
Sad, sad, sad.
*pout*
****** lets make this post more random
I walked into the bathroom after one of our doctors this morning and was almost knocked over by the pervasive stench of raw vodka.
Hm...... He LOOKED sober... maybe it was his aftershave...
******
Why is it so yummy when I dip my french fries into MCD's "ice cream"?
******
Despite laughing uproariously about it in Egypt, and teasing my husband everytime he said it, I have been infected by the dreaded "ya3nee" that peppers all Arabic-speakers' conversations and monologues.
Ya3nee, I just can't get rid of it.
******
I have a coworker who insists on calling me Molly-olly. I just might get physically violent if she does it again. I should probably warn her.
******
Someone mixed a large handful of small paperclips in with my large paperclips. This is cruel and unusual torture and therefore illegal by the Geneva Convention. Just saying... I could press charges.
******
I had a bunch of other random thoughts buzzing around in my head. When I think of them I'll add them on.
Monday, February 18, 2008
*wink wink nudge nudge*
I just had a patient call to ask what time his appointment is this morning and where we are located. As I am explaining it to him I can hear doors closing, faucets running, and children laughing in the background.
At the end of the call he tells me, "I'm stuck in a traffic jam so I might be a little late."
Uh.... sure you are.
Apparently I was born yesterday.
****
After my past few, very serious, posts and their subsequent publishing/accolades I tried to convince myself that I would make this a "serious" blog with "serious" topics. (On my off-days I dress like Jorge Ramos and stand in front of a mirror discussing world politics.)
Then I remembered that its very hard for me to be serious two days in a row.
So for those of you coming to my blog expecting deep and profound thoughts, I apologize.
It will just be an extension of me:
Weird. Random. Usually absurd. And only occasionally on the mark.
Anything else is a fluke of nature and/or heavy medication.
****
I just got this wiff of memory from the last elections when I was in my community college.
The Republican Students Association (or whateva it was called) brought in someone to campaign for the Reps about a week before the elections.
The only thing I remember about the delegate was the fact that he was wearing foundation and blush, and that he had quite obviously gotten hair plugs put in because his scalp was sprouting tufts of hair in a perfect 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch grid.
Why did I remember this?
I have no idea.
At the end of the call he tells me, "I'm stuck in a traffic jam so I might be a little late."
Uh.... sure you are.
Apparently I was born yesterday.
****
After my past few, very serious, posts and their subsequent publishing/accolades I tried to convince myself that I would make this a "serious" blog with "serious" topics. (On my off-days I dress like Jorge Ramos and stand in front of a mirror discussing world politics.)
Then I remembered that its very hard for me to be serious two days in a row.
So for those of you coming to my blog expecting deep and profound thoughts, I apologize.
It will just be an extension of me:
Weird. Random. Usually absurd. And only occasionally on the mark.
Anything else is a fluke of nature and/or heavy medication.
****
I just got this wiff of memory from the last elections when I was in my community college.
The Republican Students Association (or whateva it was called) brought in someone to campaign for the Reps about a week before the elections.
The only thing I remember about the delegate was the fact that he was wearing foundation and blush, and that he had quite obviously gotten hair plugs put in because his scalp was sprouting tufts of hair in a perfect 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch grid.
Why did I remember this?
I have no idea.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Who-Wha? The life of a new day in new shoes.
So I have what is colloquially termed as 'the crud' which consists of random aches, pains, nausea, and other icky-no-good things but which cannot actually be attributed to an AMA-recognized disease. Mine also came conveniently packaged with sores on the back of my throat which spawned overnight while I was sleeping. I don't recall eating barbed-wire last night for dinner, but apparently I did because my gullet feels like a battlefield. I decided to slap my two fifteens together and go curl up on a couch somewhere secluded in the massive patient waiting room. And evidently its normal in some people's world to approach unknown women curled into armadillo-like balls and strike up a conversation.
Strange/Creepy Man: So, how are you? (a la Joey Tribbiani + x5 creep factor)
Me: *sitting up immediately and searching for my shoes* Oh, just fine.
Creepy McCreepster: Oh no, you don't have to leave.
Me: *with a shudder and a new world record for putting on shoes* Well, I should be getting back.
C McC: So, are you waiting for a doctor?
Me: *getting up to leave* No, as unprofessional as this sounds I actually work here.
I instead pestered a CA and commandeered an unused consult room that I could securely lock with a couch upon which I sprawled haphazardly like a dying walrus and proceeded to snore away my break. Much better and more comfortable than having to demurely roll myself into a ball in a public place. Thank you, Creepy McC.
I emerged from this cave looking bleary and tousled, much like a receptionist who just had a quick amorous scuffle with the mailroom clerk- without the clerk or the amorous scuffle.
I was generously offered the afternoon off- I wonder if this is more because my coworkers want to fumigate my station rather than actual altruism- but I decided that spending the next few hours fighting with my stomach about unloading the mashed potatoes I was able to choke down for lunch would go better if I was paid for them.
Call me capitolistic.
And just to make my day so much more enjoyable I am walking around in new shoes which haven't been stretched to fit my feet giving me cramped toes and blistered heels. Payless was having a BOGO sale and it prompted me to finally retire my favorite red and black shoes (which have long ago seen their best days.)
(rockstar shoes)
These shoes have been loyal to me for five years, crossing many borders and seeing many sights. They've taken me to three continents and carried me through many airports. They were also the worst shoes I could wear out of my arsenal because with their platform soles and my curved feet I constantly rolled my ankles at random moments to the point that my husband actually looked at me and asked, "are you sure there's not something wrong with you?"
But I digress, these shoes have been the object of much envy and admiration through the years, and I will miss them.
And with the BOGO sale I am now the proud owner of a sophisticated pair of heeled mules and these devilish(ly cute) mary-janes which are causing me so much suffering today.
(the SOH shoes)
(and by SOH I mean Spawn of Hell which I lovingly named them on the long hike back to the parking ramp.)
I knew they were going to be trouble-makers and stood for a good 5 minutes this morning deciding which shoes to wear today. However since the mules looked positively preposterous with my wicked-awesome flagrantly-colored toe socks, I opted for the mary-janes. It usually hurts to look this cute.
So farewell to the marvelous red and black shoes I long ago named Mickey.
It was a good five years.
Can I go home and sleep now?
Strange/Creepy Man: So, how are you? (a la Joey Tribbiani + x5 creep factor)
Me: *sitting up immediately and searching for my shoes* Oh, just fine.
Creepy McCreepster: Oh no, you don't have to leave.
Me: *with a shudder and a new world record for putting on shoes* Well, I should be getting back.
C McC: So, are you waiting for a doctor?
Me: *getting up to leave* No, as unprofessional as this sounds I actually work here.
I instead pestered a CA and commandeered an unused consult room that I could securely lock with a couch upon which I sprawled haphazardly like a dying walrus and proceeded to snore away my break. Much better and more comfortable than having to demurely roll myself into a ball in a public place. Thank you, Creepy McC.
I emerged from this cave looking bleary and tousled, much like a receptionist who just had a quick amorous scuffle with the mailroom clerk- without the clerk or the amorous scuffle.
I was generously offered the afternoon off- I wonder if this is more because my coworkers want to fumigate my station rather than actual altruism- but I decided that spending the next few hours fighting with my stomach about unloading the mashed potatoes I was able to choke down for lunch would go better if I was paid for them.
Call me capitolistic.
And just to make my day so much more enjoyable I am walking around in new shoes which haven't been stretched to fit my feet giving me cramped toes and blistered heels. Payless was having a BOGO sale and it prompted me to finally retire my favorite red and black shoes (which have long ago seen their best days.)
(rockstar shoes)
These shoes have been loyal to me for five years, crossing many borders and seeing many sights. They've taken me to three continents and carried me through many airports. They were also the worst shoes I could wear out of my arsenal because with their platform soles and my curved feet I constantly rolled my ankles at random moments to the point that my husband actually looked at me and asked, "are you sure there's not something wrong with you?"
But I digress, these shoes have been the object of much envy and admiration through the years, and I will miss them.
And with the BOGO sale I am now the proud owner of a sophisticated pair of heeled mules and these devilish(ly cute) mary-janes which are causing me so much suffering today.
(the SOH shoes)
(and by SOH I mean Spawn of Hell which I lovingly named them on the long hike back to the parking ramp.)
I knew they were going to be trouble-makers and stood for a good 5 minutes this morning deciding which shoes to wear today. However since the mules looked positively preposterous with my wicked-awesome flagrantly-colored toe socks, I opted for the mary-janes. It usually hurts to look this cute.
So farewell to the marvelous red and black shoes I long ago named Mickey.
It was a good five years.
Can I go home and sleep now?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Work it girl!
Seriously peoples,
Look good for Jesus.
(You've GOT to be kidding me.... the virtuous vanilla really cracked me up.)
Look good for Jesus.
(You've GOT to be kidding me.... the virtuous vanilla really cracked me up.)
Monday, February 4, 2008
3araby?
I used my non-existent Arabic today at work.
How marketable is that?
For the past week almost everyday I have been receiving a phone call.
Me: M***** ***** Institute, this is Molly.
Caller: No.
Awkward silence and background noise.
Me again: M***** ***** Institute, this is Molly. (No really, I'm not kidding.)
Caller again: No.
Me: ¿Hello?
Caller: No.
Awkward silence. And I hang up.
Today they took a different route, they called twice. But this time they rounded up enough English to ask "Somali?"
The first time after going through the same routine negation that we had done daily she asked "Somali?" and I answered "No" and hung up.
The second time in I answered in exasperation, "La2, msh Somali." (No, I'm not Somali)
Caller: Mefishe Somali? (There's no Somalis?)
Me: La2, mefishe Somali.
And I hung up. Hopefully this will take care of the problem. I don't like to be informed daily that I am not Molly and I apparently don't work at M***** ***** Institute.
How marketable is that?
For the past week almost everyday I have been receiving a phone call.
Me: M***** ***** Institute, this is Molly.
Caller: No.
Awkward silence and background noise.
Me again: M***** ***** Institute, this is Molly. (No really, I'm not kidding.)
Caller again: No.
Me: ¿Hello?
Caller: No.
Awkward silence. And I hang up.
Today they took a different route, they called twice. But this time they rounded up enough English to ask "Somali?"
The first time after going through the same routine negation that we had done daily she asked "Somali?" and I answered "No" and hung up.
The second time in I answered in exasperation, "La2, msh Somali." (No, I'm not Somali)
Caller: Mefishe Somali? (There's no Somalis?)
Me: La2, mefishe Somali.
And I hung up. Hopefully this will take care of the problem. I don't like to be informed daily that I am not Molly and I apparently don't work at M***** ***** Institute.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Qu'est-ce q'il y a?
So, how glad are you that you're not the back office "trader" from Society Generale?
Losing 4.9 billion Euros ($7,100,000,000.00) could really ruin your day.
Makes me glad I'm me.
Losing 4.9 billion Euros ($7,100,000,000.00) could really ruin your day.
Makes me glad I'm me.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Weakly Randomness
I've got a lot of tidbits and things to sound off on. Sorry for the chaos, but you'll soon see how my mind works.
A dialogue between myself and a gentlemen I checked into the clinic earlier as I'm walking towards the cafe for my lunch:
Man: Hey my mom used to always wear those scarves, but you don't see it much nowadays.
Me: *a bit confused* Oh really? Where's your mom from?
Man: Alexandria.
Me: *surprised* Alexandria, Egypt?
Man: Uh, Alexandria, Minnesota.
Me: Oh....
Man: Why, where are you from?
Me: Here, but I'm Muslim.
Man: Oh...
Me: ....
Man: ....
Me: So uhm, have a nice day!
Why the news makes me laugh sometimes:
1.) Not that this story really is something to laugh about because someone actually died, but when I was watching the news it illicited a very loud snort. One man shot another man after they "exchanged argumentative text messages."
First we date via myspace, then we send fightin' wurds by text.
When I think of two men fighting via text messaging brings to mind the image of two gay men slap fighting.
But thats just me. Its sad because the other man died (inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon) so just remember kids before you send that next text telling someone you're gonna kick their a$$ you might just have to put your money where your fingers are.
2.) Heath Ledger has died (see above dua) and in retaliation to losing the limelight Britney Spears went out again with the same "Muslim" papparazzo who had just appeared on a gossip show talking about his relationship with her.
And then the Feds, realizing that Britney's antics are no longer distracting the world media from our freefalling economy, decided to drop an interest rate the largest single amount in 25 years.
And it did nothing.
3.) When talking about afore-mentioned economic crisis the news played a 2 second clip of Pres Bush talking about something that must not have mattered because they didn't introduce him or play him for very long.
Also no one is quite sure when he arrived home again.
Some random things I've noticed about Masjids lately:
1.) You will never see creative parking like that at masjids during jummah time. All streetspace/parking lots within walking distance suddenly become little pieces of the Middle East where triple parking is perfectly normal. Someday it will be the Muslims who invent how to park cars on top of eachother and utilize it.
2.) The sisters enterance will never be obvious. At a new masjid sisters will circle the building three times before being directed to the door hidden behind a bush. Make time for it.
3.) Above rule will change during jummah. Good luck finding where the sisters have been moved to in order to make room for the extra men.
And finally something random about me:
I will automatically be drawn to something red. Its my new favorite color and my husband is the one who picked up on it before I did.
Good job habibi. Keep being so good at guessing what I like. It will pay out in the long run.
A dialogue between myself and a gentlemen I checked into the clinic earlier as I'm walking towards the cafe for my lunch:
Man: Hey my mom used to always wear those scarves, but you don't see it much nowadays.
Me: *a bit confused* Oh really? Where's your mom from?
Man: Alexandria.
Me: *surprised* Alexandria, Egypt?
Man: Uh, Alexandria, Minnesota.
Me: Oh....
Man: Why, where are you from?
Me: Here, but I'm Muslim.
Man: Oh...
Me: ....
Man: ....
Me: So uhm, have a nice day!
Why the news makes me laugh sometimes:
1.) Not that this story really is something to laugh about because someone actually died, but when I was watching the news it illicited a very loud snort. One man shot another man after they "exchanged argumentative text messages."
First we date via myspace, then we send fightin' wurds by text.
When I think of two men fighting via text messaging brings to mind the image of two gay men slap fighting.
But thats just me. Its sad because the other man died (inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon) so just remember kids before you send that next text telling someone you're gonna kick their a$$ you might just have to put your money where your fingers are.
2.) Heath Ledger has died (see above dua) and in retaliation to losing the limelight Britney Spears went out again with the same "Muslim" papparazzo who had just appeared on a gossip show talking about his relationship with her.
And then the Feds, realizing that Britney's antics are no longer distracting the world media from our freefalling economy, decided to drop an interest rate the largest single amount in 25 years.
And it did nothing.
3.) When talking about afore-mentioned economic crisis the news played a 2 second clip of Pres Bush talking about something that must not have mattered because they didn't introduce him or play him for very long.
Also no one is quite sure when he arrived home again.
Some random things I've noticed about Masjids lately:
1.) You will never see creative parking like that at masjids during jummah time. All streetspace/parking lots within walking distance suddenly become little pieces of the Middle East where triple parking is perfectly normal. Someday it will be the Muslims who invent how to park cars on top of eachother and utilize it.
2.) The sisters enterance will never be obvious. At a new masjid sisters will circle the building three times before being directed to the door hidden behind a bush. Make time for it.
3.) Above rule will change during jummah. Good luck finding where the sisters have been moved to in order to make room for the extra men.
And finally something random about me:
I will automatically be drawn to something red. Its my new favorite color and my husband is the one who picked up on it before I did.
Good job habibi. Keep being so good at guessing what I like. It will pay out in the long run.
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