Good News and Bad News

I have good news and bad news.

Good News: I've lost weight since the bridesmaid dress fittings.

Bad News: ...I've lost weight since the bridesmaid dress fittings...

My dress is pathetically large on me, and I wasn't even wearing the girdle I defied natural law and quantum physics to get into.

And its not looking to good in terms of bulking back up before the wedding, I am more stressed than I have ever been in my life.

I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm almost constantly nautious and when I try to sleep at night my mind wakes me up about the most stupid things.

Yesterday was the Belmont Stakes horse race and I was really hoping whatshisface the guy who won the other two and has a son with Usher's disease would win. I don't even know his name, thats how unimportant it really is to me. But yet last night I woke up twice after dreaming about it.

I'm almost to the point that I'm ready to leave everything behind and show up to Egypt just myself and the clothes on my back. What? Luggage? No thanks.

Yesterday was the rehearsal dinner, don't ask me why it was a week before it just was, and it took place at Brunswick Bowl in Blaine. Now, it was great because afterwards we all went bowling and I found that Wii bowling has really improved my game. I'm not even kidding. But I also got food poisoning from the horrific stuff they passed off as food there. I haven't been able to keep anything down for almost 24 hours. I'm currently sipping campbell's chicken noodle and succeeding in keeping it confined to my stomach.

Small victories.

But I've got to figure out how to get my dress taken in one week before the wedding because stress+food poisoning ≠ filling out dresses one size too large.

As soon as I have the energy I'm going to upload a pic of the wicked awesome bag that mi habibtita Gulnari made for me.

{pic to be inserted later}

After eating my entire Easter basket in 2.3 days...

I decided enough was enough and I joined the gym. My back was aching, I was feeling completely rundown, and I was depressed at the vaguely blob-like shape I was taking on. I'm a woman not an amoeba, thanks.

Oh and the "you having baby?" question I got while in Mexico last week really lit a fire under my rotund tuckus.

I went yesterday and checked out the women only Lifetime in Rosedale, expecting the price to be somewhere near atrocious but in fact found that it is only around $50 a month. Considering cholesterol and blood pressure meds would cost me a lot more than that in the future I decided it was a good investment. Plus I just really like working out, despite what my weight is trying to tell you.

I also love Lifetime Fitness, I blogged about my love of their cleanliness but I just cannot explain how much better it is for my psyche to workout with them. I've gone to Bally's, I've gone to 24hr Fitness, and I've checked out Gold's gym, but the energy, lighting, and disgusting locker-rooms always chased me away. But Lifetime, oh Lifetime, not only do they supply you with towels (which all the other places do not and please I don't want to schlep my towel around with me) but their locker-rooms are huge, cozy, and stocked with little things like lotion, soap (sage rosemary thankyouverymuch), and hairspray. The showers are such a luxury that I remember going to workout at the Lifetime before just because their showers were so much nicer than my one at home. I'm not even kidding.

And before I get too loquacious on their ammenities (awesome machines people) the best part of it was how many MUSLIMAHS I saw there. I mean, sure its a matter of logic- this is probably the only women only gym here in the TC not counting Curves- but I was SO excited to see them. When I went in the afternoon to check it out I counted a least four muslimahs working out. These chicks were hardcore working out in a woman's gym IN HIJAB (wha?) which I deem unnecessary, but hey, to each her own. And then when I went back in the evening I saw five MORE. These girls did like me and removed the headgear in the locker room, but I was so excited. I chatted a bit with a Palestinian girl who came in about the same time as me while we were working out. She had a bit of a chuckle while I had a heart attack on the elipses machine (why is that thing so thorough?) and it felt so good to have the camraderie. When I went before I was on my own, did my thing, and went home without talking to anyone. And yeah, I don't really plan on having any heart to hearts while walking the treadmill (besides the fact that I have a hard time talking between huffs and puffs) but its nice to smile at someone and have them smile back.

It was awesome. Alhumdulillah.

And sure, I feel like a walking muscle cramp today, but I feel SO GOOD. I'm so happy to be excersizing again.

Oh, and girls. I'm not tracking my weightloss in actual pounds. Before I went last night I had my mom measure my "womanly curves" and I will go by inches lost. Because really I don't care if I'm 250 lbs if I can fit into a size 6. Know what I mean?

I'm looking forward to feeling healthy again, inshAllah.

Now I'm off to the co-op. Healthy eating here I come.

Oh! They gave me an AWESOME Lifetime fitness water bottle too, for free. Its way cool. What, me? A sucker for free stuff? Nawww...

I guess I'll just stop eating.

So I've mentioned before that eating seems to be getting in the way of my weight loss.

My cousin, and lifelong best friend, is getting married this summer. Actually both my cousins, sisters, are having a double wedding together on their parents' wedding anniversary which also happens to be their grandparents' wedding anniversary as well. If their kids get married on the same day in the future it will be four generations with the same anniversary. A pretty cool tradition, I say.

Anyways, last night the brides, bridesmaids, and the mother of the brides got together to look for dresses at David's Bridal.

It was painful. I mean, I love getting new clothes, especially pretty dresses, but trying stuff on is demoralizing.

And I realize, now, that a true diet is in order. I had been eating more sensibly, trying to stay away from fast food- which really isn't my favorite anyways- and half-heartedly counting calories. But, well, yeah.

There seems to be an issue with eating food, it gets in the way of losing weight. I also want to go to the gym, however doing that is tricky with hijab. I don't want to work out with it on, but my only choice would be Curves. Which its not a bad gym I guess, I just would like all the bells and whistles too you know: a sauna and hot tub, a pool to swim laps in, and I'd rather not work out in a cramped closet.

I used to work out at Lifetime, before I was Muslim, and I loved it. I loved working out and I enjoyed the time I spent there. The lockers were well-lit, clean, and big, all of the machines were new and shiny and worked well, and the entire place didn't reek of BO because they have a good air exchange system.

Is that too much to ask of a gym?

Maybe I should work out in hijab just for the luxury of having those things.

I don't know.

But I want to work out, I want to lose weight, I want to feel better about myself and how I look in absolutely God-awful fru-fru dresses.

But first, I need to learn how to survive by not eating. Because apparently thinking about food causes me to gain weight.

*sigh*