Un Bon Voyage

Tonight my family and a few friends got together for a bon voyage party for me and it was absolutely wonderful. I really have an awesome family and awesome friends and they are a blessing from Allah swt and a light in my life.

And honestly these were not even half of all the people I count as good friends and family either, but basically as much as my mom could afford to feed. I won't be able to say a good farewell to many of the people I will miss while I am gone, but I'm trying.

It was a wonderful night filled with a lot of laughter, hugs, and love. I could never fully explain the extent to which I have been blessed in my life. Alhumdulillah.

The one down point of the night was when my paternal-grandmother handed me a brochure from ACT, a blatantly Islamophobic/xenophobic group backed by little to no research and filled with incindiary claims that are never really proven with facts, or well names or citations for that matter.

In example (quoted directly from the brochure):

Did you know...

-Hamas terror cells are in place in dozens of cities across America?

(Really?? Like where?)

-Islamic Militants have infiltrated the FBI, CIA, and our military, and some have been arrested and convicted for terrorism and related charges?

(Really?? Like who?)

-Universities throughout America indoctrinate students with pro-Islamic, anti-American, anti-Israel bias that whitewashes the truth about militant Islam?

(Really?? Which Universities are those and how come I never got accepted??)

Anyways, you get the point. Visit the website for more of their enlightened ideas: www.ActforAmerica.org because everyone needs a little xenophobia in their day.

One racist a day keeps the darky away.

I never blogged about how this grandmother also ambushed me at Oogie's bridal shower and told me she was not ok with my decision and that she thought I needed to do more research and talk to her pastor.

The same pastor whose apparent authority on all Islam-related things comes from ACT!, who gave her this brochure and must have thought this very well-written piece of golden 'truth' would set me back on the 'right path.'

Uhm, yeah.

But, this was only a minor speed-bump on the road which was my bon voyage party and all the love that was showered on me. I saw my dad, I went and picked him up actually and brought him with me and dropped him at home again so it was nice to spend some time with him.

Some of the family that came tonight I may not see until I return from Egypt, but some of them I will see again at Oogie's wedding two days before I leave.

Their love for me astounds me, I wonder how I'm worthy of it, but I love them just as much and will miss them so, so much while I am gone.

My maternal-grandmother wrote in her card to me:

"Do you remember when I told you that you will learn to fly your wings?! Funny, I meant down the street. Not around the world.
We will miss you."

I'm going to miss you all too.

Until we meet again...

I need to what?

So alhumdulillah I've gotten so much done this morning, I took a half day off from work and went to the chiropractor- my back was so tight it barely moved- and then I went to the DMV to renew my license and to hopefully get a new passport. InshAllah I'll be 25 next month (egads!) and my license expires, I wish I could keep my picture from when I turned 21 (Hottie McSteam) but alas I could not, nor would I want to since me now= hijab and me then= none.

I renewed a month early because I wanted to, at the same time, apply for a new passport because I look very little like I did when I was 18 and took the picture, and also again because of the hijab.

And my hijab is the reason I left the DMV without a new passport but with a brand new chip on my shoulder. Apparently if I would like to keep my headscarf on in the picture for my passport I must write a sweet little letter to the passport authorities on why I'm wearing it.

Excuse me?

If an Indian woman comes in with a bindi in the middle of her forehead and a massively huge gold nose ring, do you ask her to write a letter? If a punk rocker comes in with bright green hair and 15 facial piercings, is she asked to remove them? Or write a letter stating her anarchist belief system?

What the #&^$ does it have to do with you OR the passport authorities OR the US government whether I wear this headscarf for religious or purely fashionable reasons?

What do they expect me to write?

Dear US Government,

I wear this scarf around my head because I'm a terroristic extremist who will stop at nothing to see the pigs of the kuffar goverment fall to their knees.

Sincerely,
Me

PS- I know where Osama is.

No.

I am an American who was born in a country where state should be completely separated from religion, and where my choice to cover my head DEALS DIRECTLY WITH ME AND MY PERSONAL CHOICE.

If I want to shave my head and tattoo it completely, do I have to write a letter in with my passport stating why?

Do Menonite or Amish women have the same problem?

Or is this hand-written permission from me for them to delay my passport process and mark me, once and for all in their big book of no-no, a danger to my society?

F**K THAT.

I walked out with my old passport, which is current through 2011, and left that idea behind.

And I wonder why it is that America is looking less and less American each day.

The Color of Our Souls

"Do our souls have skin colors?" he asked folding her tiny five year-old hands within his large, age-marked, callous palms.

She looked at him perplexed, wrinkling her tiny forehead in concentration.

"Have you ever seen your own soul?" he prodded further, looking into her eyes as they watched him intently.

"No..." she ventured finally, uncertain whether or not she ever had and what a soul looked like.

He smiled at her benignly in his wonderful grandfatherly way and she smiled back, bubbly with happiness that she had figured out the right answer.

"Poppy," she climbed into his lap and rested her head against his wide chest listening to his heart beat. He smelled like cinnamon. "Have you seen your soul?"

"No sweetheart, I never saw m'soul. But I just wonder whether we should be judgin' people by the color of their skin, or the pureness of their souls instead."

Later she peered deeply into the hallway mirror at herself trying looking past her blue eyes and brown curly hair to see if she could see her soul. Wondering maybe if it had a skin color.

(c) Molly Ann Elian 2008

To Hijab or To Not Hijab

This is such a sensitive issue that I'm sure I'll get a flutter of angry comments regarding it, but I would like to preface it by stating that I am NOT God (in case anyone was confused) and I can NOT judge nor will I willingly judge anyone. There are pious women who do not cover, and completely black-hearted women who do. I have met both. If I offend you, this was not my intention. And if I offend you deeply, you might want to explore why the subject is so sensitive to you. I welcome any and all comments or discussions that this might bring up because I will attempt to outline my opinion while keeping both sides represented.


I am a hijabi. Does this make me a saint? Certainly not. Does this make me better than you? No, I would never be so vain as to ever consider it. I have my inconsistencies and my own sins and the fact that I cover my body and my hair does not automatically make me the best Muslim out of a group.

But every Muslimah who does not cover is submitted to a silent discrimination from the Ummah. It is assumed that they lack deen (faith) and are not good people. This is often ungrounded and unfair.

Or there are times when they actually suffer discrimination against the scarf from their families or their culture. I met one such sister whose husband refuses to allow her to cover although it pains her to not submit to what she considers the will of God. Or another Turkish sister I knew whose mother threatened to turn her out of their house if she took the hijab.

While I believe that every sister has her personal reasons for covering or not for covering, I can say that I, for one, don't agree with not wearing it.

Why?

Because its mandated by God. Simply.

Now, there are definite obstacles that many of us face. Like the sister whose husband doesn't allow it; I would absolutely not tell her to leave her husband in order to wear hijab. Why cover one bad by instigating another? Or the sister from Turkey who would have no place to live, and on her own with two small boys it would be a miserable life, what should she do?

Surely hijab is obligatory yes, but only God can judge their situations, and some are terrible situations, and then make the final call.

But the other sisters who are not in situations like these, I truly cannot understand what their motivation for unveiling is. What is in this world that can drive them to ignore something written in the Quran?

I am not saying that they are less pious for it, I'm just striving to understand why they make that decision.

And I have to be honest that, with the exception of a few convert friends- who deal with family issues that keep them from wearing the hijab- and a few sisters I know who are in similar situations to the two I mentioned above, most of the women that I know who do not veil do not pray as well or adhere to many other pillars of Islam.

While in Egypt, where wearing the hijab is as cultural as it is religious, I found many women who covered but did, said, and believed things that made my hair curl. I was sexually hit on by a woman who confessed that she ached to remove it but couldn't because her family wouldn't allow it.

But here in the US I have found that it is a different story. Many of those women, who are forced into hijab by society back home, take it off here and leave a religion they didn't believe to begin with behind in the process. While myself, and many other women, fight OUR society in this country to be able to wear it.

I have faced obstacle after obstacle. I have been shunned for it. I have lived penniless because of it. But, except for a miserable five week period, I could not bear the thought of removing it.

I'm not saying it makes me a saint, but I am using myself as an example. I have dealt with family shunning me, I have been without a job, I have been harassed, I have faced discrimination, but most of all I have taken pride in following my religion and, for me, wearing hijab was the easiest commandment to fulfill, second only to the commandment to believe that there is no God but God.

I am not saying that it is ok to judge someone's piety by the hijab because obviously this is both faulty logic and obviously not our place to do so. But I can honestly stand up and wonder what exactly is the reason that some chose not to.

Please, enlighten me. I am not here to judge, but to understand.

If you do not wear the hijab, why?

Because to me it seems like both the hardest and yet still the simplest decision to make.

I want to know, and I want to understand.

Making Nice With the Joneses

I'm getting a little bit tired of this situation with my hijab. Not with wearing the hijab, but with other people having a problem with me wearing the hijab.

As my grandmother once informed me, I am pushing my beliefs onto other people by covering my own head.

Seriously, how does that work exactly?

Three separate incidences this past weekend:

On Friday after work I went over to meet my mom and my aunt, who had gone shopping that morning, for lunch. Once my aunt realized I would be coming with them, and that I would of course be wearing my hijab, she found that she had an urgent matter she needed to attend to instead. My aunt loves me, I have no doubt about this, but she would prefer to never spend time with me rather than overcome her own narrow-mindedness.

On Saturday my father's side of the family threw a birthday lunch for my great-grandmother, but I wasn't invited. I'm still blood the last time I checked, but I guess when I converted my genes did too.

And the third incident was just yesterday when I went over to my grandmother's house for the Superbowl party. I had assumed it was a family-only party but I was anxiously informed by my grandmother that she had invited the next door neighbors as well. I'm fairly certain these were the neighbors she hates because they're bigoted and stuck-up and treat many of the people in the neighborhood badly. But she invited them, and on top of that she was so worried about what they would think that she demanded that I don't go downstairs with my hijab.

"You know, they're just so against this." (add in thick Minnesota accent as you please)

Well no actually, I didn't know that, but thats beside the point. I don't care what they think about it because I don't know or like them. I offered to leave and go home, an option I would have gladly taken her up on at that moment, but she demurred and I stayed, hijab and all.

If I'm not willing to take off my hijab to spend time with my aunt, who I actually love, I'm certainly not going to do it for some stuck-up neighbors that I'm not even fond of.

I'm getting sick of this, I'm covering my own head so GET OVER IT.

What kind of people get stuck on someone dressing modestly but are quite alright with people walking the streets and showing up on TV half dressed? What kind of people complain about teen-pregnancies and the hyper-sexualization of the world today, but can't get over a simple scarf?

Where do your morals lay?

I know where mine do, and its not in making nice with the snobby Joneses.

Sorry.

I thought all Muslims were terrorists?

Two minutes ago I had an adorable old man with a great sense of humor check into the clinic. After sharing a few laughs with myself and my co-worker he asks me, "Whats with the head thing? Whats with the scarf?"

I smile and say, "For my religion."

His face darkens, "Oh no, don't tell me... Muslim?"

I smile wider, "Yes!"

He shakes his head like like it was a tradgedy, "But I thought all Muslims were terrorists?!"

I tip my head and put on a sweeter smile, "Do I look like a terrorist??"

He answers, "I won't say anything." And walks away grumbling.

Do I look like a terrorist to you?

I wore my cutest pink today and everything.

Weakly Randomness

I've got a lot of tidbits and things to sound off on. Sorry for the chaos, but you'll soon see how my mind works.

A dialogue between myself and a gentlemen I checked into the clinic earlier as I'm walking towards the cafe for my lunch:

Man: Hey my mom used to always wear those scarves, but you don't see it much nowadays.

Me: *a bit confused* Oh really? Where's your mom from?

Man: Alexandria.

Me: *surprised* Alexandria, Egypt?

Man: Uh, Alexandria, Minnesota.

Me: Oh....

Man: Why, where are you from?

Me: Here, but I'm Muslim.

Man: Oh...

Me: ....

Man: ....

Me: So uhm, have a nice day!


Why the news makes me laugh sometimes:

1.) Not that this story really is something to laugh about because someone actually died, but when I was watching the news it illicited a very loud snort. One man shot another man after they "exchanged argumentative text messages."

First we date via myspace, then we send fightin' wurds by text.

When I think of two men fighting via text messaging brings to mind the image of two gay men slap fighting.

But thats just me. Its sad because the other man died (inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon) so just remember kids before you send that next text telling someone you're gonna kick their a$$ you might just have to put your money where your fingers are.

2.) Heath Ledger has died (see above dua) and in retaliation to losing the limelight Britney Spears went out again with the same "Muslim" papparazzo who had just appeared on a gossip show talking about his relationship with her.

And then the Feds, realizing that Britney's antics are no longer distracting the world media from our freefalling economy, decided to drop an interest rate the largest single amount in 25 years.

And it did nothing.

3.) When talking about afore-mentioned economic crisis the news played a 2 second clip of Pres Bush talking about something that must not have mattered because they didn't introduce him or play him for very long.

Also no one is quite sure when he arrived home again.


Some random things I've noticed about Masjids lately:

1.) You will never see creative parking like that at masjids during jummah time. All streetspace/parking lots within walking distance suddenly become little pieces of the Middle East where triple parking is perfectly normal. Someday it will be the Muslims who invent how to park cars on top of eachother and utilize it.

2.) The sisters enterance will never be obvious. At a new masjid sisters will circle the building three times before being directed to the door hidden behind a bush. Make time for it.

3.) Above rule will change during jummah. Good luck finding where the sisters have been moved to in order to make room for the extra men.

And finally something random about me:

I will automatically be drawn to something red. Its my new favorite color and my husband is the one who picked up on it before I did.

Good job habibi. Keep being so good at guessing what I like. It will pay out in the long run.

Something to chew on

Awesome article written by Ali Eteraz on why its almost an insult to be called a Muslim in America.

Makes me mad enough to chew tire iron. I have said before that I feel very lucky to live in the Twin Cities because of the baptism by fire that the area went through regarding Muslims. It has made the atmosphere a lot more comfortable for Muslims to move about and work in without the fear of reproach. Unfortunately not all places are the same as here and I know firsthand that Phoenix is disgustingly discriminatory.

I wonder about the other parts of the country, if I moved somewhere else would I have to worry about walking on the streets? finding a good job? Would I be equally represented by the police or my politicians?

And why, in a country with "freedom of religion", do I have to worry about it?

Also note Ali's likening of being Muslim to being gay in America, something I've also made reference to in previous blogs. I would however like to point out that homosexual kissing on TV is, now, commonplace while we pretty much have yet to see a decent Muslim character in any way.

Just a little bit of something to chew on...