As my head continues to pound I must finally admit to myself that I am addicted to caffeine. Coffee, O Coffee, why must I hate you yet love you so? Like a crack addict I break down and feed the monster.
I find myself falling into a bleakness in these darkest, grayest months of winter. I wake up and leave for work before the sun has risen and I get out and drive home once the sun has set. Working in the black hole of this clinic filled with negative energy and people who just don't care, and then leaving the hospital to the gaunt and hopeless torn-down ghetto of Minneapolis covered in a thin layer of ash-colored snow.
My world is a lot of gray. Gray is the world when I get up. Gray is the world when I lay down. Gray is even the color of my dreams when I dream them at night.
I want to love my job. I want to love what I do. I want to wake up every morning and look forward to getting something accomplished. Doing something that is meaningful, something that just might change the world even just a little.
In the bleakness of winter it seems like I make no mark and tomorrow is the same as the uselessness of today.
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3 comments:
Salaam Alaikum,
I know how you feel, but you do matter :)
Salam Alaykum Molly
El invierno tambien me hace sentir muy triste.
Muchisimas gracias por haber visitado mi blog y por todos tus comentarios tan lindos. Me encanta conocer a otra Musulmana hispanohablante! Inshallah voy a ser tu lectora de aqui en adelante. Eres bienvenida a mi blog y espero que estemos en contacto :)
Cuidate
I am So sorry baby , you know Even when I am outside all day, I cannot see the sun without you.since you left Egypt the sun and the stars have no light and it won't tell you come back ,Inshaa Allah you will back soon and we will shine each other's life , I love you so much ya merati ,Mwuh .
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